You Get Mouth

We have five senses …..right? (Don’t gimme any of that sixth sense/ third eye bants abeg abeg). Out of all our senses most people would rather lose either their sense of smell or touch if they had to choose that is; obviously nobody jokes with their eyes. The sense of smell is very intresting; sometimes certain smells trigger memories like that odour that greets you every time you walk into a hospital..bet you can already smell it in your subconcious. Now where am I going with this??

A few days ago I went out with some friends and on my way back home I took a bus from Doyin to First gate. It was a little cramped but nothing unbearable. A middle aged man sat on my left. He looked like he’d had a long day from the way he sat. A few moments later we stopped to pick up more people and another man came in and sat on my right. That was where the madness started.

So, it turned out that these men were pals and so for the rest of the journey they kept hollering and gisting across my face, over my head, yelling at each other like my ears were both ends of a telephone line. And…their breaths were…STINK.ING. As soon as the first man spoke the stench went straight from my nose to my brain. I became woozy it was like his mouth was a morgue for rats and as they kept blabbering away “I could almost see the smell…..like a foul green cloud choking the entire bus”. I should have known something was up. I was already picking up faint traces from his breathing before his friend came in. I really didnt believe something like that could come out of a person’s mouth. Na me fuck up.

At last the ordeal came to an end when the bus reached my stop and I crawled out with what was left of my sanity….only for me to see a homeless man sitting by the curb …..touching himself. I really wish there was a way to unsee and unsmell it all.

What would you rather tolerate, mouth odour or body odour??