Go Slow

On this particular Friday evening, the traffic was just terrible. Like the traffic started at the bus stop. I guess everyone was going back to their homes for the weekend.

I was in a hurry to go home today for some reason so, I decided to manage the first bus I saw. I got the back seat and unfortunately had two “big” women beside me. It was even after the bus started moving that I realised that there were no windows at the back and I survived only because I was armed with a charged phone and headphones. The bus was so tight that at a point, my shoulder was entering this woman’s armpit 🤢. My shirt was soaked with so much sweat that I was starting to think I borrowed some from my seat partners. I was actually gearing myself to faint but I was worried that they’d steal my phone first before they revived me so, I decided to stay strong. If there was any disease or bad odour in that bus, my nose accommodated it. Finally got to my bus stop and entered the final bus to go home not knowing that the evening’s drama just started.

The driver was an old man and I should have known he had issues because he was exchanging insults with almost all the agberos in the park. There were two guys in the bus that were busy talking about the babes there were currently packaging while the bus was loading. Me just dey enjoy gist. Finally, the bus started moving. The driver was just speeding anyhow but nobody complained. I didn’t even care at that point. It was when the driver entered a pothole that the boys at the back shouted and told him to slow down.

What we then noticed after was that the bus was moving very slowly. Like, at walking pace. We were even worried that the bus had issues. The boys at the back then asked the driver if it was because they told him to drive carefully and the man started shouting that since they think they could talk anyhow, that he was going to continue at that pace till the end of the journey. Perhaps he thought we would beg him. One of the boys then said, “see this baba o, na your fuel go waste last last. We’re going home so, we don’t care when we get there. In fact, go slower”. We all could see the surprise on the driver’s face and everyone joined in and said he should go slower. That he should even park the bus let them take a shit since he wants to use the same time for travelling to take them home😂.

One woman in the bus then said he was acting childish and that she wondered how he was with his wife at home. The driver who had been acting dumb for a while then decided to face the woman and asked her her age. The woman replied, “I look good, can’t say the same for you”. All of us in the bus were like :

Everyone kept making fun of the man. I even decided to chip in and I said, “oga slow down abeg, I get belle”😂. When the man saw that no one was on his side, he started speeding again. We all burst into laughter in the bus. The boys then told the man to stop drinking too much. When they got down and paid, they still told him to use the money to buy 2 bottles.


Nwanz View All →

Drinker with a writing problem.

15 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Lmao
    The “no windows at the back seat” is the story of my life today🤧 I still don’t know how I managed to survive. I sha know it wasn’t easy😂


  2. Guy!! 🤣🤣🤣
    I can’t stop laughing mehn, the first time I’ve laughed so hard since i came to this bloody ebonyi state

    Keep it up !!!


  3. My first time on word press. I was first intrigued by the UI design, then the story line itself was so related and indeed amusing with lots of jape. Nice concept guys, very nice. Keep up the good work. I pray for consistency and may you never run out of ideas.


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