5 (and a half) Things I Hate About Road Trips.

Travelling to a new and foreign land can be quite exciting. Many of us have dreams of travelling the world and exploring all its exotic locations. But for now the only place we can go is our village or in the case of my friends and I, our NYSC posting…….BY ROAD!! (Those of you that flew don’t know how lucky yall are). This post is a mini rant so brace yourselves. Here are the 5 and a half things I hate about road trips.

  1. The Munchers.

    Sitting in a bus can make you hungry we understand. The thing is you’re not actually hungry you’re just bored so you eat to while away time. However, some people think because they’re stuck in a bus for 10 hours or more they can have a roadside muckbang. Only you plantain chips,BOILED EGG(S), banana and groundnuts, bread, roasted snail..THINK ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. They will now still be tapping you “err corper comman join me”……..Typing this thing is already giving me anxiety.

  2. Lazy Parents

    Children are a blessing. Children are a gift from God. Nyenyenyeh. Please control them!! Because they don’t actually have sense. I don’t understand why I will be on my own trying to get through the journey that is about 10 hours long then the result of one unprotected sex will be kicking me or reaching over from the back to pull my hair. Then the parent will smile at me and say “don’t mind her she plays too much”. If your child is hyperactive, do something about it. You can try light sedative iono…(okay Im joking ) but don’t just leave the child.

  3. The Latecomers.

    This particular set of people annoy me the most. Its not just people who show up late at the start of the journey, it also includes those that show up late after a designated stop. One time I was to travel to the east (ugh I sound so igbo ;”east”)…..anyway the bus was to leave by 6am…we ended up leaving by 7am because one cow decided to believe in his mind that the bus company would not leave him….well they didn’t leave him…but that’s only because the driver decided to be nice. One woman was so furious……she probably would have driven us all to the east if she had her way. The same cow now still kept us waiting at one of the rest stops for 45 whole ass minutes. If you see the way the woman shouted “you AGAIN!!” I was already looking for popcorn to use and watch the endgame that was about to unfold when the driver (again ughh) came to beg. Tschew. Sometimes a niqqa just needs a slap or two to act right.

  4. The Smellos

    You see, many of these transport companies try their best actually to make traveling by road as comfortable and as enjoyable as possible. We were bored; they gave us buses with small TVs, we were hot; they gave us air conditioned buses to shield us from the heat and dust outside the bus. So whyyyyyyyy?!? would you now want to create another harsh environment inside the bus with your body odour, knowing fully well…..that the bus is practically sealed. This table is for those who just don’t give a hoot about their personal hygiene and go about smelling like Orochimaru’s lab ; (not those who have actual medical conditions beyond their control). They will now come back smelling twice as worse when the bus makes a stop and we go into the sun to get snacks or use the loo. Please this is 2019…we at TrafficInn would like to beg you people. …in the name of the many faced god to fix yourselves!!!!!!?!

  5. The Shameless Sleepers

    Yes….there are people who sleep without shame and they let everyone know that they’re around. Some announce their arrival with snoring. Loud snoring. Loud enough to make Thanos feel insecure. Then the nodders. These ones will just be using head to hit somebody like its their birthright. Oya come and intern for juggernaut…..They will run. The last group. ..the droolers. ….endless streams of saliva will just be oozing out of somebody’s mouth and sometimes it can fall on innocent passengers. Im sorry but I always laugh when people fall asleep, drool then catch themselves πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

  6. Let me just add this little tinkey winkey at the end you know that AWELE song by Flavour and Umu Obiligo all you transport companies need to give that song a rest it’s ENOUGH!!! Its the same nonsense that they did with uyo meyo.

What are some of the things you don’t like about road trips / bus journeys. ..we’d like to know.

Leave a comment.⭐



13 Comments Leave a comment

  1. The ones that will not pay for seats for the children they decided to have and expect a good samaritan to help you carry your child from Lagos to Calabar. No fear of God whatsoever.

    Liked by 1 person

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