Uncategorized

Live from the Gutter

So, it was another Lagos morning and I was on my way to work. I just boarded one of those coaster buses going to CMS and I was hanging as usual (this has become a bad habit). So, if you see me hanging on any bus, don’t worry I have no shame again. Lagos has stripped my pride away. One day, someone thought I was the conductor and was asking me “how much?”. 😒 A whole fresh boy.

Well, back to the day’s events. I was in the bus thinking of how it’d been a while since anything crazy happened while I was in a bus. And I think the universe heard me. The bus driver had to pass through Ijora to avoid the traffic at Costain but we still met traffic at Ijora. While my driver was trying to manoeuvre through the traffic, one okada man that probably felt he could ride through walls tried to overtake us at the same time my driver wanted to cut right.

The next thing we heard was “gbish!” “splash”. I looked outside and I saw this okada man, off his bike, waist deep inside one filthy gutter πŸ˜‚. I tried my best not to laugh because I figured he might want to transfer aggression.

The man’s bike

This okada man then came up from the gutter, leaving his bike in the gutter, filth dripping from his genitals and marched to our driver’s door and threw the door open. Our driver kept begging him even though it was his(the okada man’s) fault but he refused. The driver kept begging him, he refused to listen kept on trying to beat him.

Next thing, our driver went full Bash Ali on this dude, punches flying everywhere. ALL OF THE PUNCHES connected especially one on his eye and ironically, I think that made him SEE the light and it was at that moment he decided to calm down but our driver refused to relent and kept on giving him some really special UFC combosπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Now that I think about it, the driver was probably begging so he would not have to injure himπŸ€”.

Nobody was eager to save the bike man since he had made us believe he could fight. Police eventually came to settle the fight and they wanted to arrest the driver because the amount of beating that the okada man had received made the driver look guilty, I mean he gave homeboy some hellboy horns. The passengers had to beg for the driver because he wasn’t at fault obviously, but mainly because we wouldn’t be able to find any other bus to enter in that area.

Eventually, the police let the driver go and while we drove off, I saw the okada man in tears trying to uproot his bike from the depths of filth. I am pretty sure there was faeces in that gutter. I honestly pitied him. While we drove off, the passengers were looking at the okada man like:

One thing I have noticed is that the people who are always eager to start fighting are the ones that usually get their asses whooped.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

17 thoughts on “Live from the Gutter”

  1. Same thing almost happened today while going to work. The Okada man has lucky stars….lol. we could have crushed him but the driver saw his stupidity on time..lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha
    UFC combos 🀣🀣🀣
    From now on, if anyone begs me before fighting; I’m gonna respect myself and take the hint….. hell boy horns 🀣🀣🀣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First off, the title πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    β€œHow much ?” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    I’ll say you jinxed the whole thing just by thinking about something crazy happening. Why art thou thinkest ?? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s