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The Beach and The Hill.

It’s no longer news that I have been separated from my friend and co-owner of the blog because of one smelling clarion call. Nevertheless….every circumstance is an opportunity to write more stories.

I spent my whole life in Lagos so coming to Enugu for me was like crossing the wardrobe and stepping into Narnia. The energy here is not like Lagos. Enugu has a calmer insanity than Lagos but insanity nonetheless. I’ve spent just over two months here so here are a few things Ive learnt about public transportation in 042 city.

The Buses are Cramped.

ALL of them. Not a single bus has enough space to comfortably reach into your pocket and get something. This is a huge problem for me coz….you know your boy aint no midget (#team6feet eeeunn) ok but for real those buses need to be imprisoned the heat from the sun, the humans and the engine together is enough to iron a shirt. But the irony is…you always come out rumpled. Those of you that like to slay to work but don’t have cars….

There Are No TOUTS!!

This is something I realized immediately I got into Enugu. After years and years of living in Lagos, it was quite refreshing to move from my house to my workplace without hearing -“owo mi da!!” “bobo yi o stupid sha, E FUN MI LOWO OMO ALE ” -being yelled at the driver or conductor. However, the drivers are not free o lol …policemen stay at intervals on the roads taxing the drivers but in a less aggressive manner.

Don’t eat the pastries.

Those who know me know I love food especially snacks. Chips, biscuit , doughnut etc. Im all for it. One good thing about Lagos traffic is that there are hawkers by the roadside who are always there to give you what you need especially at that very second when the craving starts. You see that time ;very crucial. Anything you eat in that 3 minute craving period even if its 10 naira buns, it will be like roast turkey and chicken suya with grilled beef. But….if you love yourself. Stay away. From the pastries. It would be better for you to buy abacha and be eating inside bus than to buy their “sausage roll” or their “doughnut”. I don’t know the spirit that made me buy one “meatpie” I saw. I took one bite and just…..died. It was like biting the tail of Daenerys’ dragon. The crust was that hard. There was now no meat inside. They just mixed plenty onions and cabbage in some kind of beef sauce and spread it inside. I had blisters in my mouth yo. All I wanted was a meatpie 😭😭😭.

The kekes don’t have any protection.

You know those long “curtains” the kekes in lagos have to at least minimise the damage when it rains?. Um yeah I guess they missed the memo in Enugu because there’s nothing at all to block the rain when you’re in a keke. If you’re sitting at any of the extremities in a keke and rain starts. Haqhaqhaq. only God can save you because that right shoe is gonna smell and for the ladies one side of your dress is gonna be wet.

Transport fares are quite cheap.

This is a very good improvement from the burning pile of trash that is lagos state. What would be a 100 naira bus ride in lagos can go as low as 50 or even 30 naira (if the driver is nice). Those of yall who live in Lagos know that there is no. Such. Thing as a 30 naira bus ride. Lol. You want to enter from unilag gate to ordinary jibowu and give them 30 naira?!? . You will wash bus. But in Enugu you could definitely get away with it.

Im still adjusting to the life here but I’ve learnt a great deal in this short period. I sha know that it can only get crazier from here.

PS. One time I was going home from CDS and I got to my bus stop I kept saying “o wa” and they kept driving 😭😭😭 nobody knew what I was saying.!!

17 thoughts on “The Beach and The Hill.”

  1. I can totally relate bro; spent few weeks over there; Abakaliki Is quite similar tho; you should come visit sometime….
    😁😁

    Like

  2. Biko what’s the right thing to say when you want to alight.
    The one to say that the driver or conductor will understand.

    Like

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