Sigh, the rainy season is back. I know the sun was not exactly friendly, but the rainy season is terrible for us who use public transport often. Especially those of us who like to slay to work every morning. We have to be extra careful to avoid looking like bus conductors who are scared of bathing before we reach our workplaces. I have an old post about advice for the rainy season. You can check it here. But even with the advice, the worst is sometimes inevitable. Especially in a city where people care less about others comfort as long as they are making their money.
The rainy season is also the time when you realise how bad most of these vehicles are. I remember when one of them broke down in the middle of a flood… I was on my way to work and I had to walk in the DIRTY WATER with my sexy suit. But that is a story for another day. For those who do not know, I am currently serving my country and I might have been posted to the Local Government with the most inacccesible roads, Lagos Island at Adeniji Adele. Long story short, the roads are terrible. The most annoying part is that some areas can only be passed easily if you take a bike but, bikes are the easiest way to get dirty. The whole situation is just bad.
Well, Friday last week was the last day of monthly clearance. It was raining but I didn’t have a choice because if I didn’t go for clearance, I wasn’t going to get paid and, enu gbe🥴🥴. I left the house in the morning and entered the first keke napep. As we were moving, I noticed that the person sitting beside me was looking at me strangely. I was wondering if it was because I was lacing my sneakers in the keke but it’s a normal thing, isn’t it?😂😂 The sneakers were white by the way (this is an important piece of information for this story).
Well, after I alighted, I entered another keke and I was sitting in front beside the driver. And yes, I was done lacing my sneakers lol. Unfortunately, the driver had bad breath and loved shouting. You people might not understand how bad this combo was but I will describe it in the best possible way. Imagine if you could put body odour on loudspeaker. Fam, I could ‘hear’ the smell. Smelled like rotten onions soaked in dry gin. It also didn’t help that the only way to avoid it was to put my head outside, in the rain. Meanwhile the traffic was so bad that even pedestrians were stuck in traffic because the pedestrian walkway was where vehicles were passing to avoid the flood. One tanker just decided to be unfortunate and he sped past and bathed people with dirty water. I am not sure if he’ll be able to escape the amount of curses that rained down on him (pun intended).
When I reached the bus stop, I entered a bike to the Local Government. You know how they push down the kiskstarter with their foot to start the bike? Yeah, this guy thought my foot was it and he stepped on my white sneakers with so much force. So, there was pain, and there were stains. I was just too weak to be angry. The bike man looked at me, then down at my sneakers like..
Going back home was just more drama. In the bus, there was one man selling balm. Honestly, I had to google the meaning of balm while he was advertising because of the amount of things he said it could heal. I mean, which balm cures cancer? STDs? Fibroid? One old woman sitting in front of me asked if there was any sample she could use for her waist. The man gave her and this woman raised her shirt and pulled her skirt down to apply this balm. All the passengers just…
Please don’t ask me if I saw anything, thanks. Meanwhile, a lotta passengers had beeen complaining that the driver was making too many stops. One old man in particular kept comlaining and the passenger in the front seat told him to calm down because the old man was shouting and spitting on his body and he was trying to sleep. The old man got offended and started cursing the man. The man cursed back and it turned into a curse fight. I really hoped they would fight cause I needed entertainment after my horrible day. The funny part was that the seller was still trying to market his product in the midst of all this😂😂😂. This was me in the midst of the chaos…
When the seller realised that the people arguing were louder than he was, he started insulting them. So, we had three grown men having a screaming competion in the bus. Not one punch was thrown. I even wanted to start insulting them too. The only good thing that came out of this was that the conductor forgot to colllect his fare from me admist the commotion. They were still arguing when I disembarked and I still wonder till this day if they fought. And if anybody bought the balm to cure his/her HIV.😂😂
How often do you encounter people selling in the bus?