I am sorry I haven’t been posting as regularly as before. It’s just that I’ve actually been avoiding public transport. I have been using ORide to escape the madness that is Lagos traffic. Then, the one time I decided to enter bus after a long time, it was like the madness had been waiting for me all along. I was so frustrated but, at least you guys get a story, right? Also, in case you’re wondering, the cow is me at the end of this experience, thinking about my life.
One of the passengers bought ice cream from a hawker and as she was about to pay, the driver started driving fast. This hawker dropped his bag of ice cream and started chasing our bus and I don’t know if the driver was doing it on purpose but, he always increased his speed whenever the hawker came close but, he eventually caught up. When we approached the last bus stop, one man asked for his change and the conductor said he wasn’t owing anybody. I tried to explain to the conductor that he hadn’t given him the change yet and he said, “since you no wan mind your business, use your money give am change na”. I just kept my mouth shut till I disembarked and left them while they continued barking at each other.
I was waiting to enter a keke to take me to Orile. One keke came by and started calling 200 naira for something that was normally 50 naira. Everybody started shouting ole! ole! (thief) and the guy had to drive off, with his empty vehicle, embarrassed. I finally found a bus to enter and this was where the second half of my problems started. A lady was sitting beside me that wore a tank top with her armpit hair showing. It also didn’t help that she was resting her arm on the chair so, her armpit was open throughout. She also had a confusing smell and I just came to the conclusion that she smelled like evil forest.🥴
Then without warning, it started raining. I was so confused. We had to close all the windows so, all the smells were locked in. The rain was so heavy that I couldn’t even see what was going on outside and because of this, I didn’t know when they passed my bus stop so, I had to trek back a little under the pouring rain to find a bus. One woman who was running to get shelter accidentally stepped on one lady and the lady gave her a hot slap. These women started arguing on the sidewalk under the POURING RAIN. The way they were going at it, I think they would have fought but I couldn’t wait. I jumped into the next available bus. It was double the price but I had no choice obviously.
Now, this was one of those long coaster buses that they squeeze five people in a row and it was always uncomfortable. So, it was no surprise that people were trying not to go to the back seats cause those are usually the most uncomfortable and because of this, the entrance to the door was blocked. The conductor was shouting and no one wanted to hear. Next thing, the driver came down and started pushing people out of the bus. He pushed me out too. Well after that, everyone arranged themselves properly.
Just like the last bus, the windows had to be closed because of the rain and this bus also carried about triple the number of passengers on the previous bus. So, the smells and the heat were amplified. Everyone was wet too and that made everything extra irritating. People were obviously angry so, I wasn’t surprised when arguments started in different parts of the bus. So, there was heat, smell, shouts, wet bodies amongst others. It was a nightmare. Once again, the conductor had change problem with a passenger. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of him so, all the shouts and spit were landing on my face.
I finally got to the bus stop where I would take my final bus. One woman who was carrying her baby was struggling for bus with other people. We let her enter because of the baby. I was even concerned because I was sure that the rain must have beaten the baby a bit. sigh. As we were about to move, one woman said she was looking for one leg of her shoe. She kept searching and couldn’t find it then she started blaming the baby woman for pushing her, only for her to later find it a distance away from where we were even struggling for the bus. The baby woman had the last laugh and started insulting her while the bus drove off and left her behind.
We were too engrossed in the lost shoe that we didn’t even realize that the bus had no door. I had given up already so I didn’t complain. Luckily, the rain had even reduced and I just wanted to reach my house. When I finally got home, I just ate, took a shower and slept. Didn’t even talk to anybody.
Drinker with a writing problem.