Hi there, I’m back already haha. It is really hard for me not to experience something anytime I enter public transport. I don’t even know if it is a curse.
So, the holiday season is upon us and most people are on holidays or breaks of some sort. A lot of my friends who were away in other states are back in Lagos. We then decided to hang out since we might not get another chance anytime soon. So, we picked a place at Ikeja, 424 restaurant, just beside the New Afrika (Fela) Shrine. For those who do not know, I stay at Festac. You can pause to check the distance from Festac to that place, plus traffic. Yeah, it’s far.
I still decided to go, you know, take one for the team because most of them lived near the place. I also took one of my friend’s along. He has spent most of his recent years at Enugu and wasn’t used to the Lagos madness. His name is Gozie by the way and he is an important part of the story. I have been to Ikeja a couple of times but, never to that part. So, asides from the regular stress, I didn’t know what other stress we would have had to face. I considered taking an Uber because of Gozie but, I knew that we would end up spending house rent money on the trip and we would arrive at the time we were supposed to be leaving so, I didn’t see the point. Instead, I decided that we would be jumping on a lot of bikes.
Now, Gozie dislikes bikes. Worse still, he had a terrible bike experience the previous day but he had to understand that it was our best bet. Still, I had to seat with him because he was afraid. Sigh. First, we entered a bus heading to 2nd Rainbow from Festac but the driver followed another route because of… wait, I still don’t know why he did. Well, we ended up having to trek to our bus stop under the scorching sun because of that. We all know how terrible the sun has been these past few weeks but that particular “Sunday” lived up to its name.
We tried to enter a bike going to Oshodi but he said they couldn’t reach Oshodi and he had to stop like two bus stops away (at Toyota bus stop) because of police. We got on the bike and started moving. You all know how dangerous bikes can be, yet we were on this bike in the middle of that Oshodi-Apapa expressway. Because we were sharing the bike, there wasn’t enough ass room for me so, the roof of my butt was on the metal part of the seat. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there is a part of the road that’s being fixed so, we had to follow one way (drive against oncoming traffic). Gozie was lamenting the whole time🤣🤣. But yeah, it was scary. Imagine approaching different incoming tankers while on a bike. I was just in the back like…
We got to Toyota and dropped and had to wait for a bus to drop us off at Oshodi. I don’t want to talk about the sun every time but I need you to know that we were waiting under the mad sun every time we dropped. It was a Sunday so, buses were scarce and we had to wait a while. There was this pretty lady at the bus stop too that Gozie was eyeing, imagine. Well, when a bus finally came along and we were trying to enter, this lady pushed him out of the way and took up the last space. I couldn’t help but laugh. I had to explain to him that there’s no joy in Lagos and he had to be alert. The next bus came by and I entered and realized that he was still outside. One old man managed to push him out this time. I couldn’t come down to wait so, I had to lap him to Oshodi.
We got to Oshodi and we couldn’t find any Ikeja bus at their usual spot so we had to enter a keke to Bolade bus stop. Got there and wanted to find any bike that would take us straight to the venue but we couldn’t so, we had to take a bus to Ikeja-Along and it was there that we got a bike straight to the venue which was another round of me sitting on the iron part of the bike. We had a lot of fun when we got there with our friends you know, catching up and stuff which was good because I knew the journey back was gonna be terrible, yet interesting because we were high when we left the restaurant.
We left there around past 6 pm and had to trek a little before we could find a bike back to Ikeja-Along. We got there and took another bike to Oshodi. I was already thinking that things were looking up since we found bikes easier than when we were coming. How wrong I was. When we got to Oshodi, not only were there no bikes, buses were nowhere to be found either. We waited a long time before we finally saw a bus. Now, let me describe this bus. Imagine a rusty, bent, rickety danfo bus the size of a BRT. Done? Now imagine something worse. Yes, that is what it was. The bus was even full and we had to jump on it while it was moving. After I jumped, the bus almost left Gozie. He managed to jump and he landed on my feet. So, there we were, two high boys hanging on the dying bus, hoping we’d get home safe.
But now that I think about it, hanging was the best option because I can’t imagine how tight and smelly the inside of that bus would have been. The driver decided to pass one unknown road and there was a point where the bus started having issues and we had to get down because we were standing by the engine. They managed to fix it and we had to jump back in before we got left behind.
The moment I saw where we could enter a bike, we got down from the bus and took a bike straight to our homes. I think that must have been the least problematic part of our journey honestly. Don’t forget that we were high the whole time so it was exciting, maybe?
What terrible experience have you had when going to a place for the first time or visiting a place far from your home? Drop your stories in the comments. Don’t forget to like and share.
Who wants to go on a road trip with me? Maybe you’ll end up in one of my stories 🤣🤣🤣
Drinker with a writing problem.