The Big Ban Theory

Just when we thought life in Lagos couldn’t get any crazier our dear Governor decided to try crack. We really didn’t expect this to happen … least not now. The truth is this is not the first time the Lagos state government has tried to take our dear okadas away ;the difference is that this time they added kekes to the mix. Really? Kekes? The angels of the road…(must be crack).

In all honesty the relationship between Lagosians and Okadas is a very very toxic relationship. Those bikes have claimed lives and put innocent people’s legs out of commission but we still go back everytime because at the end of the day blood of Jesus sha cover everybody. Given the nature of this relationship, a portion of the lagos populace actually support the ban on okadas and we can’t blame them they’ve probably lost loved ones but like we said earlier the ban extends to kekes and the organized body of bike riders Oride and Gokada.

The big question on everyone’s lips is WAS THIS A BAD MOVE? But the real question is, can anyone think clearly on crack? The effects of the ban also puts the safety of Lagosians at risk to some extent; especially people who come home late from work because they’d have to walk through streets they’d normally ply with a keke or a bike which would put them in the path of robbers or worse. In a city with a population that could rival entire countries, public transport is key to survival. The governor’s reason for banning these services was that they were “unsafe and caused disorderliness” he also made mention of the fact that criminals make use of these vehicles to carry out their operations.

Its been just over a week since the big ban and the memes, jokes and tweets are rolling in. A few people have taken advantage of the situation and introduced horses to the roads but even the horses can’t take it and one or two were seen passed out on the roads.

Comedy has always been our coping mechanism sha. The state government in a statement, promised to provide alternative means of transport to commuters. Lol 65 new buses. They also brought out plans to revive the ferry system complete with standard rates and comprehensive routes but is this enough to replace the kekes and bikes?

The government has received a lot of backlash from various groups their major grievances being the lack of readily available alternatives before the ban and how the ban creates an opening for a massive inflation in transport rates. However, it doesn’t look like this decision would be revoked even though there are rumors that the ban would be lifted from just kekes alone. To add to the mess, previous governor Akinwunmi Ambode is being investigated for embezzling funds meant for the purchase of more buses; his response. ..

It’s just so ironic that the keke system was put in place by a previous government to ALLEVIATE POVERTY but at the end of the day, this is Nigeria. On a lighter note however, intra state fornicators would now have to look inward and take booty calls within their local government constituencies.

Our hearts go out to the thousands of Lagosians who have lost their livelihoods as a result of this policy. We don’t even know where we are headed again. Tomorrow is another Monday.


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