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Daytime Nightmare

Lagos is the ghetto. I don’t care where you live. From the island to the mainland to the lowland….it’s all ghetto because I don’t know how you want to enjoy that mansion in Osborne when you spend most of your life in traffic. Can I just say this though some of these face masks are killing me. Some people legit look like they’re wearing pant on their faces. Then some ladies try to spice it up by wearing satin face masks y’all out here looking like kitana and mileena. Then there’s the people who have the wrong size and the straps are too short so their ears will now come and be doing….

A hand with its fingers scrunched together

With this mask thing I can laugh at who I want to my heart’s content. Although its harder to hustle for bus at rush hours coz how you gonna shout if the face mask is masking your voice.

Unfortunately, I just had to go out. I was lucky that all my waka was centered around Ikeja which I’m not even sure is a good thing. I was pleased to find that some roads had been fixed while I was away and some were under construction but in this Lagos the only thing worse than bad road….. is road that is being fixed. A portion of the apapa/oshodi expressway is being fixed so I made a mental note not to use that route on my way back; not like the alternative was free of traffic we just have to choose what we can tolerate.

By about 2pm I had finished my first errand and proceeded to my next errand at the infamous computer village. To get a bus from Isaac John street to this place was war. The moment you mention “computer village” to the drivers the way they will speed off ….like your mouth is smelling. Eventually I got a bike lol. Lagos Government was just whining themselves with this ban nonsense and that their toy bus that they bought from Miniso.

Computer village was as crowded as ever. I was a bit excited to finally be there because of all the stories I had heard about the place. People getting their phones stolen right out of their pockets, people being sold fake phones and sometimes amala. Normally being a newbie, I had an escort who was familiar with the place and knew where to avoid. Like joke that’s how my escort got robbed……in my front!! It was like the movie Focus. Im walking behind my guide and from nowhere this area boy….(he was more of an area man really) comes out and starts engaging him in banter shaking his hand and all of that and my escort is smiling and responding so my guess was that they knew each other…. not even up to 10 minutes after the man had gone he reached into his pocket and the phone was gone.

I ran out of there the minute I was done with my business. My heart was racing. People who saw me must have thought I was heavy with shit.

The bus stop was a mess. Bus prices were double and nobody was smiling. I tried to get a bus to ojuelegba and the conductor shouted “500!!” People were entering like that. I decided to wait for another one; a risk I was willing to take and thankfully another came by for 400. By the way shout-outs to the women who always come through with chilled, almost frozen drinks; honestly I don’t know how they do it; truly not all heroes wear capes. However if you’re like me and you go out on a strict budget you might want to chill on the chilled pepsi until you’re close to home because with the way bus fares are increasing like bitcoin, that 200 you use to buy pepsi and gala could be the difference between getting home in one piece and walking from mile 2 to first gate *coughs* yes it was me.

How has this current situation affected you? Please leave a comment. We’d like to know.

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