Laugh Now, Cry Later

Hey guys, I know I haven’t been writing about my experiences much but this is mostly because I’ve been avoiding public transport like the plague especially now that there’s never a good time to avoid traffic. Before, I could predict the best time to leave the house. Now, no time is the best time. Just leave your house and hope for less traffic than usual.

I’m sure you’re wondering how I move since I said I’ve been avoiding public transport. Well, I’ve been using more of okada lately (it’s public transport I know), but apart from trying to amputate my leg while maneuvering through traffic or driving me under trailers, I haven’t experienced much madness with them๐Ÿ˜Š. Only my followers get the day to day updates on my transport life.

Today’s experience started out as funny, till I ended up on the receiving end of the rubbish. I left for work in the morning and entered a shuttle bus going to 2nd Rainbow. Just like most buses, my driver had one of his side mirrors missing, the right one as usual and he kept driving like he was missing an eye too. From jumping into whatever pothole he could find, to almost hitting someone’s car and he kept shouting like he was right.

We had just descended the Festac Link bridge, heading to Apple Junction when he saw passengers on the side of the road and tried to park so he could pick them up. As he tried to park, he couldn’t see vehicles coming up on the right side of the bus, and still tried to speedily switch lanes. One okada man was coming up by our side and if not for me shouting “watch out!”, we would have hit the okada man, together with his passenger… HARD. The okada managed to dodge and ended up at the edge of the gutter. So close.

He angrily got off his bike and ran towards our bus, ready to beat our driver to a pulp but his eyes were so blind with anger that he ended up punching the bus door and the front seat passenger. His mouth was leaking so much spit that he also added to the passenger’s drip. In the midst of all this, we heard “YEEEEEE!!” only for us to turn and see that the bike he left on the edge of the gutter had fallen into the gutter, carrying his passenger with it๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

The funniest part was that the okada man ignored him because he was still trying to open our driver’s door to beat him up. Passers by had to gather and pull the man with the bike out of the gutter. The man was crying which left me wondering if it was because half of his body was stained with shit or if he was in pain. Luckily, he didn’t get injured (but was that really luck though?). The okada man eventually calmed down and went to check on his bike and my driver just zoomed off๐Ÿคฃ.

Tuff times neva last…

Got to my bus stop and entered a coaster bus to CMS. I was glad because I was the last passenger so I had to sit by the door – that means enough breeze even in traffic. The conductor was the only other person at the door and we had to share leg room. Only for one guy to jump inside the bus and land on my foot, begging that he wants to hang because he didn’t have money. I refused but, the other passengers begged on his behalf and I gave in eventually. I spent the rest of the journey sharing leg room meant for one person with two people. If Moses had shoes, they would have looked like mine.

The leg room was even the least of my problems. Two people hanging on the bus meant two armpits open….two armpits that were right under my nose๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ. And yes, they both smelled bad. Everytime the bus rendered a pothole, it made me switch between pits or brought me closer than I was to the smells. If I didn’t understand the meaning of “Two wrongs don’t make a right” before, I understood then. Both smells were so wrong, I had to get down before I reached my bus stop. I suddenly preferred trekking. It was too late by then though, as I already had a headache and my shoes were ruined.

I was sick of buses for that day, so I decided to enter okada for the rest of the journey. I entered on okada that looked like a power bike thinking it was going to be fun, only for the bike to be vibrating anyhow. I felt like I was sitting on a first generation vibrator. I was carrying load so, I could not hold the seat while the bike was shaking. I was just on the bike like…

Worse still, he was rough too and insulting. I remember he almost hit one guy wearing glasses and he told him, “be like say you go buy wiper for your glasses” ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ. When I finally got down, I felt defiled from all the vibrations cause my legs were shaking. But at the end of the day, we thank God for life. I got to my destination in one piece and without entering gutter. Grateful for the little things.

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#Traffic lagos life lifestyle Nigeria

Nwanz View All →

Drinker with a writing problem.

17 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I’m hollering! ๐Ÿ˜‚. “you go need wiper for your glasses’ ๐Ÿ˜‚.I feel bad for the man who fell in the gutter. I don’t understand why these bus drivers drive like they have extra lives. I can relate to the agony of being in the middle of smelly armpits. I still have PTSD from my last trip in a BRT.

    Liked by 2 people

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