Flat Tyred

Sigh

If you live in Lagos, you probably know why I’m sighing. Trailers and tankers have taken over the roads and have completely shutdown some roads completely. I know you’re probably tired of me complaining about traffic everyday but, it is already a way of life here, and it gets progressively worse as time goes on. I strongly believe that I have entered more traffic this week than I have in the past month. What a way to start the Christmas month.

It has gotten to the point that if I don’t see traffic in the road, I always assume they are fighting somewhere on the road and people have run away. You know how people always say they would be millionaires if they didn’t pay for data? Well, I would be a billionaire if not for how often I paid for okada.

This experience actually happened on Monday but I have been too preoccupied with traffic to write anything. I am even stuck in traffic writing this post. I figured it would be a good way to pass time since I forgot my earpiece at home😭.

I left home for work in the morning and took okada from my house to 2nd Rainbow. I don’t even bother with buses these days. I was lucky because the traffic that day was even on another level. It was so bad that, after Apple Junction, my okada was stuck in traffic with other vehicles. We literally had to ride on the edge of the gutter to move. I was lucky not to end up like the man in my last post.

Even okada can’t escape the traffic

I eventually got to 2nd Rainbow and took a bus to Orile and apart from the driver almost hitting everybody, it was a relatively smooth ride. From Orile, I took a bus to CMS. The road was blocked so, he had to drive against the traffic (one way). The crazy part was how rough he was, considering he was on the wrong lane and had to struggle for road space with trailers and tankers.

He managed to wriggle himself out of the traffic only for him to get to Costain and the bus broke down. Just stopped and refused to start. This was the first time I actually scanned the bus and realised how rickety it was. He tried his best to revive the bus to no avail, the passengers got tired and requested for their change so they could be on their way but, the driver told us that the bus just needed a little push to start. So there I was, with my formal Monday drip, pushing danfo bus in the middle of the road.

How I felt pushing the bus

I’m sure you are probably asking why I didn’t enter another bus. THERE WERE NO BUSES. The bus still didn’t start so the driver gave us some change to enter another bus. This man gave me 500 naira to share with four people,πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ which took my time too. I gave up on finding bus and just took a bike straight to my office.

Coming back was another problem. I used to get buses in front of my office but the traffic these days reaches the front of my office too so, I usually trek till I get to the front of the traffic before I enter bus(which is not a short distance by the way). I entered a bus going to Orile and surprisingly, the road was free and my driver saw it as an opportunity to drive like he was chasing the man that slept with his woman. Passengers kept complaining throughout the journey. One particular woman was in the back like…

The driver passed through Jimoh Olutola Street and as he tried to climb one of the speed bumps in that area, we heard a cracking sound, and the driver lost control of the vehicle for a bit. He managed to park and we got down only for us to see that the front tyre of the bus had developed bow leg. It had gotten deformed and I couldn’t help but wonder if it had happened when he was still chasing his woman’s love affair. Remember the bus I entered in the morning broke down too. What a way to start my week.

Notice the lower part of the tyre is extending outwards. Tyre is tired

The driver put us in another bus that took us to Orile bus stop. ORILE WAS COMPLETELY BLOCKED. The available bikes were calling money for 3 days transport. I managed to enter one bus that was passing through inner roads (at double the usual price). The annoying part was the conductor being unnecessarily rude and shouting at passengers every second.

When agberos realized that most buses were using the inner roads as alternative routes, the set up roadblocks at approximately every 100-150 metres and they collected money from every bus that passed and they were ready to damage the bus of anyone that didn’t want to pay (the side mirror as usual). The funny part in all of this was the rude conductor being bullied by the agberos and quietly meeting their demands. Passengers began to make fun of him, especially the ones he’d shouted on. Even when agberos forgot to collect money, the passengers would call remind them🀣🀣. I didn’t mind because he already charged us extra so, he deserved to lose the money. In fact, when I calculated the number of roadblocks, I realised that he lost about half of what he made on that trip.

Agbero thank you o

I got to 2nd Rainbow and decided to take an okada straight home even at double the price because I was already stressed from all the rubbish traffic, agbero threats and the heat. Halfway into the journey, we saw where another okada had just hit someone’s car. That wasn’t my business obviously but, this okada man actually parked and wanted to disembark and inspect what happened. I just told him that if he wasted an extra second, I was going to enter another okada without paying him. He then shrugged and drove off.

I eventually got home only to find out that my tailor hadn’t started sewing the clothes he promised to drop off for me and all I was thinking about was going to his shop the next day to have a fun time with him.

Hope you enjoyed reading my story as much as I didn’t enjoy going through it. Drop a “sorry” for me in the comments. Don’t forget to like and shareπŸ˜‚

lagos life

Nwanz View All →

Drinker with a writing problem.

32 Comments Leave a comment

    • 🀣🀣. Man legit parked like he wasn’t carrying anyone.
      That’s how the other one in my last post left his passenger to fall inside gutter

      Like

  1. Omo x 10000000
    I can totally relate, I stay in Alaba my situation is worse traffic ear and dear
    If you enter bus to Mile 2 get ready to curse yourself, the best thing is just to bike it jejeπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    This was a good read btwπŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny thing is this is one of the reasons I don’t want to live most of my adult life in Lagos. It’s a crazy city and my earlier experiences in traffic have been just as scary as yours.

    Never had a bus with a bow-leg tho. That’s something else.

    Great post bruv. Totally relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As frustrating as I imagine your situation was, I had quite a laugh reading this. Lagos is honestly the absolute ghetto. This daily traffic is no way to live. That December wasn’t funny.I didn’t bother leaving the house anymore.Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I honestly enjoyed this holiday season cause I was home for the most part, and the roads were free the few times I went out. Hard to believe I was in Lagos

      Like

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